Jokes Thread...

addictedtopb · 04-06-2008, 06:26 AM

Everyone Likes Jokes!

Why did the blonde spend an hour looking at a can of orange juice?

because it said "concentrate".

smileyone · 04-06-2008, 10:55 AM

Addicted... you should stick to your day job..... although your Arsenal joke is side splittingly funny!!!!

gunners · 04-06-2008, 11:08 AM

Lol.................. we want you on stand up addicted

sher1 · 04-06-2008, 05:30 PM

oh i got some good ones but there R + rated lol

here's a kiddy one

why was 6 afraid of 7 cause 7 ate/8 .... 9 ha ha ha ha

gunners · 04-07-2008, 01:03 AM

come on give us your r rated ones

sher1 · 04-07-2008, 03:10 AM

are u sure it will take so long to write them

ok warning R rated please dont read if u do not like dirty minded people like me lol

a man was playing golf & another man came alone & asked if he could join HIM,.. he said yes
he asked the man what do u do for a living? the man said im a hit man.
the other man said no s*i* hey
& the hit man took off his bag & showed him all his rifles
the man said what do u charge ?
the hit man said $1000 a hit
the man was looking at the guns & was saying "i think i can see my house from here...
yeah i can there's my wife getting undressed & theres next door & he's getting undressed too
wtf
the husband said shoot my wife in the mouth cause shes a mouthy bitch,
& the boy next door in the d*c*.

the hit man was aiming ......... the husband said what u waiting for.
the hit man said hold on a min i might be able to save u a grand.

this one i took from SHAWNA

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart
with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly "Good morning, and welcome to
Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they
ain't." "The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would
you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just
couldn't believe you got laid twice." "Have a good day and thank you
for shopping at Wal-Mart."

gunners · 04-07-2008, 03:44 AM

HAHAHAHA both are very good

smileyone · 04-07-2008, 04:04 AM

Now Smiley knows what you are all thinking......

Surely Smiley can't be really funny as well as incredibly beautiful... huh???

Well... you're all right.... but I will give it a go anyway.... Don't all topple over at once with the laughter....

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A Brick Layer

Ummmm ok.... a tougher audience then first anticipated.... ok then.. some jokes for the SPN fan in you....

Q: Why do vampires hate arguements?
A: Because it makes them cross!!!

Q: Who eats it's victims two by two???
A: Noah's Shark!!!

Q: Who won the dance competition at the Monster's disco???
A: The Boogie Man!!!

Ok then... you are still not convinced.....

Hmmmm..... ok then... some random ones....

Q: Why did the woodworm eat a sofa and two chairs?
A: Because he had a suite tooth!!!

Q: Why did the chicken go into the jungle?
A: Because he was an eggsplorer...

And my particular favourite....

Q: Why did the Hedgehog cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flatmates...

Oh Lordy .... You are a hard crowd to please....

More later....

sher1 · 04-07-2008, 04:40 AM

lmfao smiley ill find more morro too

addictedtopb · 04-07-2008, 09:47 AM

Why won't the vampire play football?
he's afraid of crosses

got this one from Match! magazine

04-06-2008, 06:26 AM	#1
addictedtopb Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jordan Posts: 2,118	Jokes Thread... Everyone Likes Jokes! Why did the blonde spend an hour looking at a can of orange juice? because it said "concentrate". __________________ ^^Click on my sig to listen to the best song ever!!

04-06-2008, 10:55 AM	#2
smileyone Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 7,084	Addicted... you should stick to your day job..... although your Arsenal joke is side splittingly funny!!!! __________________ Adaptable, Alluring, Ambitious, Bewitching, Caring, Contrary, Desirable, Energetic, Enterprising, Enthusiastic, Expressive, Fair-Minded, Gorgeous, Instinctive, Lively, Outspoken, Precious, Proud, Sensible, Senseous, Stylish, Trustworthy, Vivacious, Witty and Wonderful.... I AM WHISTLER!!!!!

04-06-2008, 05:30 PM	#4
sher1 Moderator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 10,203	oh i got some good ones but there R + rated lol here's a kiddy one why was 6 afraid of 7 cause 7 ate/8 .... 9 ha ha ha ha __________________ sexy sign made famous by the one & only Mei/Dani & Kali from LJ :: 4 my icon

04-07-2008, 03:10 AM	#6
sher1 Moderator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 10,203	are u sure it will take so long to write them ok warning R rated please dont read if u do not like dirty minded people like me lol a man was playing golf & another man came alone & asked if he could join HIM,.. he said yes he asked the man what do u do for a living? the man said im a hit man. the other man said no si hey & the hit man took off his bag & showed him all his rifles the man said what do u charge ? the hit man said $1000 a hit the man was looking at the guns & was saying "i think i can see my house from here... yeah i can there's my wife getting undressed & theres next door & he's getting undressed too wtf the husband said shoot my wife in the mouth cause shes a mouthy bitch, & the boy next door in the dc. the hit man was aiming ......... the husband said what u waiting for. the hit man said hold on a min i might be able to save u a grand. this one i took from SHAWNA A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't." "The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?" "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice." "Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart." __________________ sexy sign made famous by the one & only Mei/Dani & Kali from LJ :: 4 my icon

04-07-2008, 04:04 AM	#8
smileyone Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 7,084	Now Smiley knows what you are all thinking...... Surely Smiley can't be really funny as well as incredibly beautiful... huh??? Well... you're all right.... but I will give it a go anyway.... Don't all topple over at once with the laughter.... Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A: A Brick Layer Ummmm ok.... a tougher audience then first anticipated.... ok then.. some jokes for the SPN fan in you.... Q: Why do vampires hate arguements? A: Because it makes them cross!!! Q: Who eats it's victims two by two??? A: Noah's Shark!!! Q: Who won the dance competition at the Monster's disco??? A: The Boogie Man!!! Ok then... you are still not convinced..... Hmmmm..... ok then... some random ones.... Q: Why did the woodworm eat a sofa and two chairs? A: Because he had a suite tooth!!! Q: Why did the chicken go into the jungle? A: Because he was an eggsplorer... And my particular favourite.... Q: Why did the Hedgehog cross the road? A: Because he wanted to see his flatmates... Oh Lordy .... You are a hard crowd to please.... More later.... __________________ Adaptable, Alluring, Ambitious, Bewitching, Caring, Contrary, Desirable, Energetic, Enterprising, Enthusiastic, Expressive, Fair-Minded, Gorgeous, Instinctive, Lively, Outspoken, Precious, Proud, Sensible, Senseous, Stylish, Trustworthy, Vivacious, Witty and Wonderful.... I AM WHISTLER!!!!!

04-06-2008, 11:08 AM	#3
gunners Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: ENGLAND baby Posts: 1,359	Lol.................. we want you on stand up addicted

04-07-2008, 01:03 AM	#5
gunners Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: ENGLAND baby Posts: 1,359	come on give us your r rated ones

04-07-2008, 03:44 AM	#7
gunners Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: ENGLAND baby Posts: 1,359	HAHAHAHA both are very good

04-07-2008, 04:40 AM	#9
sher1 Moderator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 10,203	lmfao smiley ill find more morro too __________________ sexy sign made famous by the one & only Mei/Dani & Kali from LJ :: 4 my icon

04-07-2008, 09:47 AM	#10
addictedtopb Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jordan Posts: 2,118	Why won't the vampire play football? he's afraid of crosses got this one from Match! magazine __________________ ^^Click on my sig to listen to the best song ever!!

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode