Lol

[addictedtopb]

lol look what i found...


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so Are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty,
and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[smileyone]

^^^ Hahaha.... my favourite drink..... and I never took part in the writing of this one!!!! LOL!!!!

Oh boy Addicted.... you started a war on here now...... You want some definitions of how we lassies view you guys..... Oh boy.... Smiley's all up for this one..... You better get yourself all comfy...... You have a long day ahead of you....................................... !!!!!


ENJOY...............................

[smileyone]

Here you go..... A little even-ing up of the scores.....

I believe it's your turn now.....

MEN ARE LIKE...........

Floor Tiles.
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Eskies.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Government Bonds.
They take so long to mature

High Heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while

Snow Storms.
You never know when they are coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will stay.

Used Cars.
Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.

ATM'S
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Newborn Babies.
They are cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their c**p.

Crystal.
Some look really good, but you can still see right through them.

Dry Cleaners.
Most work fast and leave no ring.

Laxatives.
They irritate the s*** out of you.


Onto a funnier related quote I once read somewhere from the writer George Eliot.... she who wrote Animal Farm.... etc.....



''I'm not denyin' that women are foolish;
God Almighty made 'em to watch the men.''


Excellent stuff......

Your turn....

[Terri]

lol there both really funny.

[sher1]

lol love them all

there are 2 parts to every divorce
yours & f*ck heads

[addictedtopb]

your turn

oh boy... this is going to be hard.. lol

WOMEN ARE LIKE...

...the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

...computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.


...Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.


...horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.


...parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.


...fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.


...political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.


...refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.


...blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.


...country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

Edit: i hope i'm not the only guy here i want someone to back me up... LOL!!

[smileyone]

LOL!!!!! ^^^ A good start for you.... but not nearly good enough....

some more well known girlies qoutes......

''I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate!'' - Phyllis Diller

''A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that doesn't mean she can't have fun with all the wrong ones.'' - Cher

''I know God is not a woman - no woman would have created men with so many imperfections.'' -Jill M. Consideine

''Any person can tell, when they look around at men in general, that God never intended for women to be very particular.'' - Anonymous Suffragist

AND SOME BY THE GREAT ZSA ZSA GABOR.....

'I am a marvelous housekeeper. Everytime I leave a man, I keep his house.'

'I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.'

'The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage!'


And my ultimate favourite......

''A good man doesn't just happen....
They have to be created by women!
A guy is a lump, like a donut.
So first you got to get rid of all the stuff his mum did to him. And then you got to get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials.
And then there's my favourite, the male ego!'

By Rosanne Barr....


Oh boy..... Smiley is on a roll for womankind.... she could just keep going on and on.......

And over to you and your lot Addicted

[helps]

....lol....i see here started real war between girls and boys...good luck both...i wish win to both of you...

[addictedtopb]

haha... i liked driving skills and headache generator most lol

[smileyone]

http://www.happyhub.com/network/malebrain/

OMG...... So many minute areas..... LOL!!!!

Oh I am just gonna let the late great Mae West..... tell it like it is.....

''It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men''!!!

''Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you''!!!

'' I only like two kinds of men: domestic & imported!!!''

'' I feel like a million - but one at a time!''


And now... Smiley attempts to answer some of life's burning questions with a little help from Nan Tucket......

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know, it's never happened....

Q: What do you call a man who complains all day, watches sports all night and sleeps away his weekends?
A: Normal!!!

Q:What's a man's idea of helping you with the housework?
A: Lifting his legs so you can vaccuum!!!

Q: What's the thinnest bok in the world called?
A: What Men Know About Women!



AND NOW FOR SMILEY'S FAVOURITE... DID YOU KNOW FACT OF THE DAY.....

DID YOU KNOW....... That according to Erma Bombeck: .... if a man watches three football matches in a row, he should be declared legally dead!!!


Oh Lordy..... What fun!!!!