1/30/08 Favorite Quotes - Page 2

smileyone · 02-02-2008, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuddyDebbie

"So Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
"I don't...know!"

P.S. Smiley, I love this topic. I can't believe we didn't think of it before, but that's for suggesting it!

Yes... It has potential to be quite a funny topic ... doesn't it.... LOL!!!

LovelyLene · 02-03-2008, 12:32 AM

I just love pretty much anything Jack O\Neill says on Stargate SG-1. The man is hilarious!

Here some of his lines:

O'Neill: I think I cracked a rib, too.
Carter: Why didn't you say something?
O'Neill: I was afraid you'd try to put a splint on it.

O'Neill: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound... Nothing comes to mind.

O'Neill: It's "O'Neill," with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L, and he has no sense of humor at all.

O'Neill: That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute. You are your god. That's a problem.

Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
O'Neill: So, no increase then, huh?

O'Neill: There's a man... He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer.

Native pointing toward Teal'c: He is Jaffa.
O'Neill: No, but he plays one on TV.

Okay, I'll stop now...

XXX

smileyone · 02-03-2008, 05:36 AM

^^^ They're all very funny!!! LOL!!!

Below... some more Simpson quotes....

Some by the great Homer....

I have feelings too -- like My stomach hurts or I'm going crazy!

My dad's a disgrace just like Bart's dad... me.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

As the Bible says, "Thou shalt not horn in on thy husbands racket"

They have the Internet on computers, now?

I am so smart; I am so smart, s-m-r-t...

Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

Hey, this man is not breathing. Don't people usually breathe?

I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.

Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!

Life is just one crushing defeat after another.

Save me, Jeebus. Jeebus, where are you? I want Jeebus.

... and I'm not impressed easily... Wow! A blue car!!

You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away.

Wow! A baby and a free burger! Could this be the best day of my life?

Ah, TV respects me.

And one of my favourites.....

D'oh! The bee bit my bottom. Now my bottom's big.

Homer is so funny!!!!

smileyone · 02-03-2008, 05:48 AM

And some more random ones.......... from the movies.......

Jurassic ParkIan: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

The First Wives ClubCatherine: You are married. You have a daughter. You don't need self-esteem.

Mission: ImpossibleEthan Hunt: Relax Luther, it's much worse than you think.

L A Story
Harris K. Telemacher: Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please, start talking at the sound of the beep.

Fight Club
Tyler: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.

The Matrix
Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone and then show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

Antz
Barbatus: Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.

The Blair Witch Project
Heather: I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them.

When Harry Met Sally
Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.

Last Action Hero
Danny Madigan: Man, are you an idiot. You made the classic movie mistake: don't explain so much!

Con Air
Garland Greene: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?

The X-Files: Fight the Future
Mulder: If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced.

Conspiracy Theory
Alice: This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen.

The Philadelphia Story
Dexter: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wifes. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer.

Practical Magic
Aunt Frances: My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.

Sleepy Hollow
Ichabod Crane: Villainy wears many masks, none of which are more dangerous than virtue.

Jurassic Park
Ian Malcolm: I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm.

The Waterboy
Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

sher1 · 02-03-2008, 05:44 PM

DEAN- if you fuggin touch me again im gunna fuggin kill ya lol

WHISTLER- to sammy- well i aint no doctor but ........ & i dont remember it word by word but i cracked up over it

SAM- to dean- thats hell fire dean
DEAN- yeah watever

yeah i also love all the names sawyer gives out

&
JOEY- wats up with the playstation thats wak .... somethink along those lines lol

Joshjb · 02-05-2008, 10:24 AM

Haha, the Joey-playstation-wack episode was hilarious. :P

Sup with da wack playstation, dude, sup? Dat's wack. Playstation's wak.

Calena · 02-07-2008, 10:08 AM

I love how they started to call vampires politically correct but nontheless sarcastically "Undead Americans" on Buffy.

helps · 02-10-2008, 04:34 AM

i love the one from Gilmore girls...i don´t know how exactly that was..

Lorelai and Rori are going to dinner..It was friday..and how we know they had to every Friday for dinner to Lorelai´s parents...

Lorelai:It´s great...We are going for dinner together and without Adolf and Eva...

Rori:Mum it´s not fair called gramp Adolf..

Lorelai:I meant grandam..

who knows Emily understand

MsDee · 02-10-2008, 09:14 PM

It owuld have to be something Hugh laurie said on House because he has the best one liners

Or
The Office "That's not what she said"

Joshjb · 02-11-2008, 07:49 AM

Right, I totally forgot about House. I love House's jokes. :P I remember once in Season 1, Chase was saying something like "I had this professor in university who..." and House cuts in saying "Oh, did he touch you in the naughty place?".

You really have to see it to laugh as hard as I did. I love how Hugh Laurie/House expresses himself. He acts all serious even while making a joke.

02-03-2008, 12:32 AM	#12
LovelyLene Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,749	I just love pretty much anything Jack O\Neill says on Stargate SG-1. The man is hilarious! Here some of his lines: O'Neill: I think I cracked a rib, too. Carter: Why didn't you say something? O'Neill: I was afraid you'd try to put a splint on it. O'Neill: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound... Nothing comes to mind. O'Neill: It's "O'Neill," with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L, and he has no sense of humor at all. O'Neill: That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute. You are your god. That's a problem. Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human. O'Neill: So, no increase then, huh? O'Neill: There's a man... He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer. Native pointing toward Teal'c: He is Jaffa. O'Neill: No, but he plays one on TV. Okay, I'll stop now... XXX __________________ LovelyLène's Art Please check out my Prison Break Calendar 2008!

02-03-2008, 05:36 AM	#13
smileyone Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 7,838	^^^ They're all very funny!!! LOL!!! Below... some more Simpson quotes.... Some by the great Homer.... I have feelings too -- like My stomach hurts or I'm going crazy! My dad's a disgrace just like Bart's dad... me. Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? As the Bible says, "Thou shalt not horn in on thy husbands racket" They have the Internet on computers, now? I am so smart; I am so smart, s-m-r-t... Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind! Hey, this man is not breathing. Don't people usually breathe? I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch. Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here! Life is just one crushing defeat after another. Save me, Jeebus. Jeebus, where are you? I want Jeebus. ... and I'm not impressed easily... Wow! A blue car!! You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away. Wow! A baby and a free burger! Could this be the best day of my life? Ah, TV respects me. And one of my favourites..... D'oh! The bee bit my bottom. Now my bottom's big. Homer is so funny!!!! __________________ Adaptable, Alluring, Ambitious, Bewitching, Caring, Contrary, Desirable, Energetic, Enterprising, Enthusiastic, Expressive, Fair-Minded, Gorgeous, Heroic, Instinctive, Lively, Outspoken, Precious, Proud, Sensible, Senseous, Stylish, Trustworthy, Vivacious, Witty and Wonderful.... I AM WHISTLER!!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN PRISON BREAK... EVER!!!

02-03-2008, 05:48 AM	#14
smileyone Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Bristol, England Posts: 7,838	And some more random ones.......... from the movies....... Jurassic ParkIan: Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. The First Wives ClubCatherine: You are married. You have a daughter. You don't need self-esteem. Mission: ImpossibleEthan Hunt: Relax Luther, it's much worse than you think. L A Story Harris K. Telemacher: Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please, start talking at the sound of the beep. Fight Club Tyler: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives. The Matrix Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone and then show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you. Antz Barbatus: Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself. The Blair Witch Project Heather: I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them. When Harry Met Sally Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband. Last Action Hero Danny Madigan: Man, are you an idiot. You made the classic movie mistake: don't explain so much! Con Air Garland Greene: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane? The X-Files: Fight the Future Mulder: If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced. Conspiracy Theory Alice: This guy's a restraining order waiting to happen. The Philadelphia Story Dexter: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wifes. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer. Practical Magic Aunt Frances: My darling girl, when are you going to understand that "normal" is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage. Sleepy Hollow Ichabod Crane: Villainy wears many masks, none of which are more dangerous than virtue. Jurassic Park Ian Malcolm: I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm. The Waterboy Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush. __________________ Adaptable, Alluring, Ambitious, Bewitching, Caring, Contrary, Desirable, Energetic, Enterprising, Enthusiastic, Expressive, Fair-Minded, Gorgeous, Heroic, Instinctive, Lively, Outspoken, Precious, Proud, Sensible, Senseous, Stylish, Trustworthy, Vivacious, Witty and Wonderful.... I AM WHISTLER!!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN PRISON BREAK... EVER!!!

02-03-2008, 05:44 PM	#15
sher1 Moderator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 10,204	DEAN- if you fuggin touch me again im gunna fuggin kill ya lol WHISTLER- to sammy- well i aint no doctor but ........ & i dont remember it word by word but i cracked up over it SAM- to dean- thats hell fire dean DEAN- yeah watever yeah i also love all the names sawyer gives out & JOEY- wats up with the playstation thats wak .... somethink along those lines lol __________________ sexy sign made famous by the one & only Mei/Dani & Kali from LJ :: 4 my icon

02-05-2008, 10:24 AM	#16
Joshjb Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,282	Haha, the Joey-playstation-wack episode was hilarious. :P Sup with da wack playstation, dude, sup? Dat's wack. Playstation's wak. __________________

02-07-2008, 10:08 AM	#17
Calena Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Old Europe Posts: 5,202	I love how they started to call vampires politically correct but nontheless sarcastically "Undead Americans" on Buffy. __________________ Thx helps for the sig! "Destiny is a fickle bitch" - Benjamin Linus http://www.richarddawkins.net/ I'd prefer Dean to be my Saviour! Bring K-Man back!!! Pretty please!

02-10-2008, 04:34 AM	#18
helps Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Czech Republic,Europe Posts: 3,023	i love the one from Gilmore girls...i don´t know how exactly that was.. Lorelai and Rori are going to dinner..It was friday..and how we know they had to every Friday for dinner to Lorelai´s parents... Lorelai:It´s great...We are going for dinner together and without Adolf and Eva... Rori:Mum it´s not fair called gramp Adolf.. Lorelai:I meant grandam.. who knows Emily understand __________________ Dean:Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you? HELPS IS BACK FOR GOOD!!MISSED YOU ALL SO BAD:-*

02-10-2008, 09:14 PM	#19
MsDee Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 504	It owuld have to be something Hugh laurie said on House because he has the best one liners Or The Office "That's not what she said" __________________ Every Life's A Story

02-11-2008, 07:49 AM	#20
Joshjb Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,282	Right, I totally forgot about House. I love House's jokes. :P I remember once in Season 1, Chase was saying something like "I had this professor in university who..." and House cuts in saying "Oh, did he touch you in the naughty place?". You really have to see it to laugh as hard as I did. I love how Hugh Laurie/House expresses himself. He acts all serious even while making a joke. __________________

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