Prison Break Newlywed gammmmee!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prison Break or The Newlywed Game. I just thought this wouldbe fun to write. Please let me know what you think!

Cheesy Announcer: “Okay ladies and gentleman it’s time for the Prison Break Newlywed gameeee”!!!!!

Tweener: “Yo, I ain’t married to this freak”!

T-bag: (Adjusts his blonde wig) “Now, In be-tweenah you know we been ovah this too many times in the past, you are my property, now take mah pocket, boy”!

Tweener: That’s bullbleep, aw-ight? I aint nobody’s bleep, yo”!

T-bag: (In a whisper) “Shhh, play along! We want the prizes, right”?

Host: “Okay, okay let’s move along shall we”?

Sara: (Gives her husband a look of disgust) “I know better now, and I don’t want to be here with this…man”.

Michael: “But, Sara I have a plan that will make all of this right, and a big screen TV will really help”!

Host: (shakes his head and looks to the next lovely couple on the set) “Tell us a little about your selves Mr. and Mrs. Burrows. Ummm, Mr. Burrows? You’re not allowed to take your shirt off on this set. Mrs. Burrows…um Veronica”? Veronica looks away from the shine of Linc’s chest with a confused expression on her face.

Host: “Okay, let’s move along shall we? Okay then, Gentlemen if you would kindly leave the stage? (The men all stand to leave, and except for a moment of confusion when T-bag stands to leave as well, all is going according to the show’s plans.)

Host: “Ladies, where is the strangest place you and your husband ever made whoopee”? (Music starts as the sound of markers on place cards squeak in concentration.) “Second question, what kind of underwear is your hubby wearing, Ladies”? (More sound of music mixed with squeaky markers.) “And finally, question number 3, Ladies, what is the most annoying thing about your husband”? ( more music, more squeak) “We'll get the Gentleman back on the stage and when we return from this commercial we’ll see which one of these lovely ladies knows the most about her man! Right here on The Newlywed game”!



~~~Commercial break~~~



Cheesy Announcer: “Here’s Johnny”!

Host: “Johnny!!?! My name is Bob, remember you bleeping BLEEPPP!!! BLEPPPP"?!! (Holds ear piece) "We’re back on? Oh, we’re back on”!

(Bob flashes a fake dazzling smile before turning to the couples that have recently been reunited on the stage.

Host/Bob:“Well Gentleman we asked your lovely wives a few questions while you enjoyed some wonderful music through our headphones. The music was brought to you courtesy of Elevator and Schaum”!

Tweener: “Yo, you call that bleep music? That ain’t music! I heard better sounds comin’ from the showers at Fox River”!

T-bag: “Now, Bob, don’t you pay this here boy no nevah mind. That rap music has done rotted his cranium”.

Tweener: “Rotted my what? Ain’t nothin’ wrong wit my cranium, aw-ight! (Turns to Michael) “What’s a cranium, yo”?

Host/Bob: “Okay, let’s move along to the first question, shall we? Gentleman while you were away we asked your lovely wives this question: Where was the strangest place you and your husband ever made whoopee? Let’s start with Lincoln and Veronica. (At her name V looked up confused).

Veronica: “What… Who? I think you have the wrong man! He was framed! Oh, you said whoopee? I thought you said conspiracy. Silly me”! (Laughs nervously and grabs the marker to change her answer.) “Okay Johnny, I’m ready”.

Host/Bob: (Shoots V a look, but continues) “Okay, Lincoln, Where do you think your wife said was the strangest place the two of you ever made whoopee”?

Lincoln: “Um… Yep…umm… Whoopee?..You mean sex right”?

Host/Bob: “Yeah, we mean sex”.

Lincoln: “Well we kind of did it in the ummm…what’s that room called at the Prison where you consult with your lawyer? Anyways I’ll say that.

Veronica: (Shoots Lincoln the evil eye). “We never made whoopee anywhere in the prison”! (Bashes him over the head with the place card, and then crosses her arms over her chest).

Lincoln: “V, baby, I thought it was you, I swear”!

Host/Bob: "Uh oh, trouble in paradise. Um... Veronica could you please hold up your card so the audience at home can see your answer”?

Veronica: (Holds up the card and moves it from side to side showing everyone her answer).

Lincoln: “The back of a theater during the movie Bend it like Beckham”? (Lincoln reads aloud) “That was you”?

Veronica: (Screams in frustration, and hits Lincoln with the card again).

Host/Bob: “We’ll be right back folks”!

Music fades out....

~~Commercial break~~


Cheesy announcer: “Heyyy....let’s play The Feud”!

Host/Bob: “This is The Newlywed Game you stupid bleep”!!!

“Sara: “Michael, I think I left the door unlocked…maybe we should leave… What if someone”… (Sara notices the camera on her. She stops talking and smiles nervously.) “Maybe we should just play”?

Host/Bob: “Okayyy! Let’s move along to The Scofields. Michael, we asked your lovely wife, Sara this question. Where was the strangest place the two of you ever made whoopee”?

Michael: “Well, Bob, we made whoopee a lot while on the run. But I think the strangest place would have to be the time Sara bleeped me and, bleeped… my bleeppp..and then she bleeped my brother…on the roof”. (Michael smiles over at a horrified Sara). “What did I say something wrong”?

“Host/Bob: (Stares at Michael with his mouth hanging open) “Um…Sara, would you kindly hold up your card and show the audience at home your answer”?

Veronica: "You bleeped that junkie"? !?!(Hits Lincoln with card again)

Sara: (Still in shock Sara holds up the card and moves it back and forth to show the folks at home).

Michael: (Reads it aloud) “The Sundown Motel? Well yeah we did make lots of whoopee there…I mean we bleeped our brains out! But what was so strange about that”? (Michael looks confused).

Sara: (Puts card down and starts digging in her purse). “You see what you do to me, Michael”? (Sara pulls out a loaded syringe and shoots up on stage).

Host/Bob: “Go to commercial!!! Cut!!! This crazy bleep is going to get us thrown off the network”!!!!

Screen goes to static…..

~~Commercial break~~



Cheesy announcer: “You have anymore of that stuff, Red? What? We’re back on? Oh, bleep”!

Host/Bob: (Looks at Cheesy announcer) “Well that explains a few things”.
(Turns to camera and flashes fake dazzling smile) “Okayyyyy! Let’s move along to our last ermm..lovely couple. The Apolskis’! David we asked your ahh..your handsome wife Tabitha this questi…

Tweener: “Oh, hellz no! I know the question you asked. And I ain’t ever bleeped this bleep! (T-bag reaches for Tweener) “Yo, back your punk bleep up! (He shoves Tabby/T-bag away from him roughly) (Muttering under his breath) “I could be at the mall glomming CD’s or sumthin’…I could be makin’ more scrilla than this…(Tabby shoves a manicured hand over his lips and mouths a vile threat).

T-bag: “Now Bob, the boy is obviously mistaken, we have consummated our…umm love on many a fine occasion. He just needs a little um… help remembering. (T-bag gives Tweener the evil eye).

Tweener: “Oh, hellz no! I’m fittin’ t’ bounce, y’all”! (Tries to get up, but T-bag shoves him back down in his seat)(Tweener curls his lip in disgust, but gives in) “Yo, in a car, or sumthin”? .

T-bag: (Holds up card and shows it to everyone)

Tweener: “Oh, hellz no!!!! I never bleeped this freak in the shower”! (Tweener punches T-bag in the stomach knocking the card from his hands).

Host/Bob: “Commercial!!! Cut!!!...These people are bleeping crazy! someone bring me that Red haired bleep’s purse”!

Cuts to static…..

~~Commercial break~~



~~TBC~~

That's great! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Originally Posted by Metallikat

That's great! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Thanks! Glad you liked it. I will post more when I get it written.

:laughing: :laughing:

[adiafaith]

Originally Posted by Juliepb69

Michael: “But, Sara I have a plan that will make all of this right, and a big screen TV will really help”!

ROFLMAO!! :laughing: :laughing:

[Aridje]

Cool very well written

LOOL, you wrote that?? HILARIOUS. Waiting for more!

Originally Posted by SeemsSoSurreal

LOOL, you wrote that?? HILARIOUS. Waiting for more!

Yep, I wrote it! Thanks so much!

Originally Posted by Aridje

Cool very well written

Thanks so much everyone!

~~I do not own Prison break or The Newlywed game. I do not profit from them.~~


Cheesy Announcer: “Alrriighty then”! We’re back and Bob is ummm, Bob”?

“Host/Bob: (Bob quickly wipes lipstick from his mouth as T-bag runs back to his seat.)

T-bag: (adjusts his dress and cracks his neck sending his blonde wig falling to the floor, but no one notices ‘cause they are too busy staring as Sara begins to dance in her seat. Michael pulls her back down, but she slaps at him and then starts using the magic marker to color in his tattoos.


Host/Bob: “Welcome back folks! We’re moving along to question #2! Okay ladies get your place cards ready! Veronica, are you ready"?

Veronica: (V, looks away from Sara’s doodling, and smiles vacantly at Bob): I’m ready, Johnny”!

“Host/ Bob: (Bob gives V a smoldering look) “Okayyyy then! Lincoln, we asked your lovely, but vacant wife Veronica this question, what kind of underwear is your husband wearing this evening”?

Lincoln: “I don’t have a husband, but my hot wife here? She has on a purple thong that I flossed with this morning”. (Smiles and makes a rude gesture with two of his fingers and his tongue) “If you know what I mean, Bob”?

Host/Bob: “Okayyyy! Well Lincoln, we actually just need to know what kind of underwear you are wearing, not your wife, okay”?

Lincoln: “Oh, why didn’t you say so? That’s really easy, kinda like my Bro’s wife! HaHAHaHA! Sorry Mike, I couldn’t resist”! (Michael reaches over and they high five). “Seriously though, I don’t wear underwear, Lisa… I mean Bob”.

Veronica: “Are you talking to your dead ex-wife again? He talks to her you know, especially during sex…that was when I first noticed it. He said I’m coming, Lisa! And I of course called him on it. And he confessed… Not to killing Terrance Steadman or anything crazy like that”. (Giggles nervously) “He admitted to talking to his dead ex-wife…He said he thought he heard her calling him from the kitchen… I mean what a bad time to call someone you know, while they are having sex with their new, hot wife? Wouldn’t you agree, Johnny”?

Host/Bob: (A fly lands inside his gaping mouth) “Okayyyy! “Veronica would you kindly hold up your card and show the good people at home your answer”?

Veronica: (Looks at card and gets a surprised look on her face while bouncing up and down in her seat in excitement. She then proudly holds it up to show everyone).

Veronica:“We did it! We did it”! (V reaches and hugs Linc).

Lincoln: “We did it? That was you backstage during the last break”?

Veronica: (Hits him over the head with card) “I hate you”!


Host/Bob: “That gives the Burrows 100 points! When we come back we’ll talk to the Scofields about Michael’s underwear of choice! But now here’s a word from our sponsorsssss”!


Music fades out….


~~Commercial break~~