help! I need critics.

I've got this assignment in Music Theatre, we have to take a musician who is not already an actor/actress and make them one. We had to come up with a movie they were debuting in and everything, and I have to write a fake review for the movie. I've only got a wee bit so far, but I was hoping someone could give me their opinion on it?
I would very much appreciate it!

Here is the first paragraph:

"Just recently released, 48 Hours is about the perfect community gone wrong. Fiona Apple leads as Samantha Scott, a detective from Chicago who is called in when a young girl goes missing and there seems to be no trace of her. The day after the disappearance, a note is found on the girl’s pillow stating that they have 48 hours to find her and after that, they had “better start digging”. Set and filmed in a small, isolated town in Colorado, the movie certainly gives you your fair share of great scenery. Co-starring is Maria Bello and Michael Sheen as the distressed parents Michael and Julie Lewis, and Dakota Fanning as Kathryn, their missing daughter. "

Here is the second part:

"Although it would seem to have an important plot, the movie is more of a character study. You are drawn into each of the main characters and their stories. The story revolves around these people and their reactions to the situation. The movie starts off with the detective Scott arriving in town and being briefed on the situation; you also see a clock at the bottom of the screen counting the time that has gone by. It goes back and forth in the beginning from real time to flashbacks, giving us insight into the background of the story such as the events of the night Kathryn went missing. This is necessary so that the audience knows what is going on and what lead to it. At times the movie is a bit hard to follow as it jumps around from the search to flashbacks to the girl and her kidnapper. "

Is anyone going to read it?? Please?

"Obviously there is a lot of conflict going on in the story. The conflict is mainly man vs. man. The local law enforcement feels insulted that the state has intervened and brought this outsider detective in to do their job for them. They see this as saying that they are incompetent. Most everyone is working against the kidnapper, trying to find the girl. The kidnapper has to work to keep the girl hidden and quiet and to not be found out. Detective Scott must work hard to see the evidence left behind so that she can crack the case.

Foreshadowing and “quirks of fate” are a big part of the film."

Thought I'd post some more.

Very good, so far, and interesing. I want to see the rest of the story. It's quite well writen too. Good job.

[TheSprostonGreener]

Yes very good.

[Stranger]

Originally Posted by Nimfalas

"Obviously there is a lot of conflict going on in the story. The conflict is mainly man vs. man. The local law enforcement feels insulted that the state has intervened and brought this outsider detective in to do their job for them. They see this as saying that they are incompetent. Most everyone is working against the kidnapper, trying to find the girl. The kidnapper has to work to keep the girl hidden and quiet and to not be found out. Detective Scott must work hard to see the evidence left behind so that she can crack the case.

Foreshadowing and “quirks of fate” are a big part of the film."

Thought I'd post some more.

think you mean Almost?

the sentence in italics could be improved..more details needed i think.what is he doing?any weird things about him? like does he have weird habits?(think Mahone )
i was thinking maybe he has OCD..that could take an interesting turn. just my humble opinion of course!

so far you've done pretty good.