Farwell T-bag

[DramaDiva]

I don't remember, honestly I haven't been paying all that much attention this season . Wasn't on my top priority list after they jumped the shark and turned TBag into everyones bitch .

HAHA Myspace for prisoners. Well is it the more impressive the crime, the more hits your profile gets? That is just about the most insane thing I have ever heard. Hey , I have an idea lets make a website where girls with little to no self esteem or self worth can date a prisoner ....who does that ? I guess it's perfect for you if you enjoy criminals and only want a one sided relationship ...wow I have really heard it all now.

[candyrose]

It is pretty crazy. I think I remember one story where this well-to-do and wealthy female fell in love with a guy who was in prison for killing someone. I don't remember what happened, but she herself ended up killing someone and then went to prison. It was crazy.

It does seem really out there, but I suppose I can understand the appeal....maybe. I mean, these women must think the man wouldn't be able to break their hearts or cheat on them because they are behind bars. Plus, they get these men basically telling them everything they want to hear in long, romantic, and sometimes poetic love letters. This whole fantasy can be built and supported because there really isn't anything to contradict it. It isn't like the two people are living together and have to endure constant bickering and disagreement. And, by the way, there are always sites for men looking for female prisoners. Now that's what I find really interesting.

[DramaDiva]

Yeah ok I get that , but at the same time they have a release date and when that comes you leave fantasy lala land and enter 'oh **** my boyfriend is a murderer/rapist/kidnapper/burglary/battery and he is on his way here' ect... yeah no thanks. I think I would be scared to piss off a murderer. No fighting from me , you want the remote ? No problem honey just stay away from the steak knives. Looking for some fantasy land romance with a inmate is just a cop out for not wanting to put yourself out there and find someone real. Nothing in prison is real, trust me I know.

[candyrose]

You KNOW?! Is there an interesting story attached to that? I'm very curious.

I get what you're saying, and your comments are certainly valid. There's a great deal of fear and insecurity at work. At the very least, these women feel like the men (prisoners) give them something they are lacking in their normal, everyday lives.

It sort of makes sense. The whole dating scene has changed drastically. Things seem more impersonal than they ever were. It should be easier to find someone with the breaking down of communication barriers, such as location differences. However, it doesn't always provide the intimacy one would expect. The whole "romance" thing is essentially lacking. Don't get me wrong, don't all women are looking for that sort of thing or feel they need it. They don't need the traditional courtships, the wooing, the flowers, and sweet comments, or wherever else that's linked to such an ideal. But I would say that there are still some women who feel they need these things.

[DramaDiva]

It's probably not as interesting as your wheels that are turning are imagining it to be. No, I have never romantically written or been involved with an inmate. I am not gonna air out my business though , for all of BTV either, but lets just say I know the game and the players very well.

If that is what someone is looking for a romance with out actual contact. There are plenty of fakes on the internet to take the job. They will woo the hell out of you as long as they are behind the keyboard and that is more live then a written letter. Why not go that route ? Girls who go to these sites IMHO are lacking , seriously and probably need therapy . I have no problem with inmates dating other inmates, more power to that at least that way they are both on the same level. Isn't illegal for inmates to correspond with each other though? So there would have to be 2 third parties to mail the letters back and forth .

[candyrose]

Alrighty then.....

I think that's all assuming the inmates are bad and insincere. A person could easily find themselves in prison for one, seemingly simple mistake. Therefore, I wouldn't say they are all cons; I'm sure it can become rather lonely in prison, and it's kind of sad.

With that being said, I'll admit it makes less sense when the woman knows the man is never going to get out of prison or he's scheduled to be executed. Under that context, it's kind of pointless to try and carry on some sort of committed relationship because they will never, ever be together. Additionally, if the man has killed or raped, then that's just a big turn off and I so don't get how people could go for that.

It still doesn't explain, however, the rationalization of free men, in the real world, dating women in prison for life. Ah, it's not even called dating, so I don't know what kind of label to slap on it. LOL.

[DramaDiva]

So you are saying that you understand it from the female perspective , but not from the males? Isn't that a bit of a double standard. There are plenty of men out there with low self worth also, maybe that is where it comes from.

Most people do not find themselves in PRISON on a first offense crime, unless it's a really bad one. So with that being said, the ones that are in there for the small offenses like drugs or battery or burglary are more often than not multiple offenders. That makes them just as bad as the bad ones to me and most defiantly cons. It just took them longer to rack up the muscle it takes to put you in prison. While in prison unfortunately most of them learn new tricks which will land them straight back in there eventually. Gotta love the American rehabilitation system. I am not going to knock them all , some do actually learn there lesson but it's just a very small percentage that will never see the inside of another prison once they are released.

[candyrose]

Oh wow, you're right: That did sound bad. Ah, I don't even remember why I said that. I think I may have been referring to the need for physical intimacy, and that's me using the cleaned up description out of consideration for those who may pop into the thread. But I guess that all depends on if men really do have higher sex drives than women.

I'll admit you are correct that many inmates are repeat offenders and have been in and out of prison the majority of their adult lives. However, this doesn't mean that every person who has been locked up has committed a serious crime and/or will ever land in prison again after they have been released.

The system is screwed up. You have people getting more jail time for marijuana possession than some people get for killing a person. I've seen people get some hard time for that, but then seen murderers walk out before they did and end up working in the general public, or even at schools. And then you have white-collar criminals who commit countless crimes and never see the inside of a cell. Most of the time they don't even get probation; they are simply forced to pay some crap fine.

It could be argued the rehabilitation sucks, but I think a larger issue is at work: society as a whole. Once someone his released from prison, they are stigmatized and denied equal opportunities. This often resorts in them getting by with the means they are used to using, the ones they have been able to rely on. Aside from that, the stress alone can be enough to make someone fall back into old behaviors/habits.

[DramaDiva]

I did say most not all . Some do manage to recoop and get it together. If you play the percentages though the chances that the man you are writing will land himself right back there in the end are pretty damn high. So why even play the game if the chances are that you will lose ? It's like playing poker and being able too see all hands, knowing you are beat and still raising the pot. Not to mention that prison men are never what they portray themselves to be . They prey on fat and ugly women , full well knowing they are vulnerable and easy manipulated. As long as they are writing and sending them money , they keep telling them what they want to hear. It like paying a prostitute and getting no sex, what you get instead is a nice little love letter. Most of them have multiple women while in there just to keep themselves alive. It's all a big game .

I do agree that inmates are highly discriminated against as far as employment when they get out. Most of them have to settle with low paying jobs and that resorts to old habits. Why make 7 bucks an hour when you cam make 500 selling drugs and never have to leave your house.

The whole system is screwed up right down the line. Like you said you have drug offenders getting more time than murderers. Whoevers bright idea it was that rehabilitation should consist of sticking them all in a big building together with bars and fences and no kind of actual rehabilitation, just lots and lots of ego and testosterone needs a head check. That's just what a criminal needs is to be put in a cell with thosands of other criminals and made to survive. They should get the same treatment as a drug addict who goes to rehab IMO but with the bars so they can't escape.

It's system shock once they get out of course because most of them have been in this surreal environment for a long time . It's like letting a caged animal free. They should get something ...readjustment classes that they have to take before leaving to get them out of the prison mindset and back into the free world mode. This IMHO is how a lot of them fail .

[candyrose]

Calling the women fat or ugly is a bit of a generalization. I've seen many women,very attractive women, even stereotypical so, fall into the same trap. Most of the stories I've seen or people I've know don't even fall into thecateogry of "fat" or ugly. Furthermore, being "fat" isn't always a bad thing. You'd be surprised how many men actually prefer "fat" women. Now is when I wish I had the exact statistics; they're around here somewhere.

You're definitely onto something about the money. There are a lot cons taking place, and it's a way for the inmate to not only get the things they need (money and connections), but probably a way of feeling in control. Of course, that isn't always the case; some may be sincere, but I wouldn't say they were in the majority. Either way, there's really no way for the person on the outside to tell, which is why they can be so easily manipulated.

Hey, some women are perfectly satisfied with that nice little love letter; it's one of the reasons they do it in the first place. It's not that difficult to get laid nowadays. Just look at all the sexual solicitations on myspace and craigslist. Also, the numerous sex sites on the net.

There really isn't an effective program out there, at least something widely used and strictly enforced. The whole thing has turned into nothing more than segregating them from society, so people don't have to deal with them. The whole idea about job division is supposed to be a form of rehabilitation, though. I'd say it's far from sufficient. They do need more constant treatment, something similar to other rehabilitation programs. There are plenty of things that could be done, but no one really feels that its deserving of the time and resources it would take to make such a program possible. They could focus more on education for the lower class inmates, for one. It should be made mandatory, IMO. Therapy is usually needed, both one-on-one and group. Conflict resolving measures should be taught, as well as anger management. I think there should be a step between being in prison and being released. It should be mandatory that, at least some, are required to live in group housing under strict supervision, with a curfew.