Mind over Murder

Stewie's teething pains drive him to design a device with which he plans to jump forward in time, bypassing the teething stage. Meanwhile, Lois grows increasingly frustrated with Peter's lack of appreciation for her hard work and her unfulfilled daydreams about becoming a concert pianist. He spends hours fishing on a boat with Cleveland, Quagmire, and Brian while she has a hectic day of housework. She begs Peter to drop Chris off at a soccer game, while she tends to watch Stewie while she gives a piano lesson. Peter takes Chris to the game, where Quagmire is prowling for soccer moms. Quagmire offers Peter a beer, and he promptly forgets the remainder of the errand. Peter is angered when another parent insults Chris' playing ability, Peter punches "him" only to discover that the parent was actually a masculine-looking/sounding pregnant woman, who gives birth before Peter's very eyes.

Peter is arrested and sentenced to house arrest. While Lois shops for groceries to make a romantic dinner for the two of them, he wanders into the basement. There, he has a vision of the Pawtucket Patriot, the spokesperson for his favorite brand of beer, who tells him to build a bar in the basement. That way, the Patriot insists, Peter can drink with his friends without leaving the house. Lois returns and prepares the dinner, then waits for several hours for Peter to appear. She finally finds him in the basement and is shocked to discover the bar he has constructed.

Peter's tavern, which he names "Ye Old Pube" (comically revised after Peter carefully reconsiders his previous name, "Ye Olde Pube", in which it is suggested that Peter is going to change "Pube" to "Pub" although he fails to realize it), is a great success, attracting dozens of customers. Lois storms off to take a hot bath, furious with the situation. When Stewie complains about his painful gums, Peter dips a finger in whisky and sticks it in Stewie's mouth. The infant quickly becomes drunk, bragging about his time-control device to a bar patron named Misty. When Lois discovers Stewie's intoxication, she begins to berate Peter until she notices that her piano has been moved to the basement. Although he only wanted it as an hors d'œuvre table, he encourages her to play for the crowd to appease her. Lois plays and sings, becoming an immediate hit with the bar customers. The men's enthusiastic reactions quickly stir Peter's sense of jealousy, and he tries to forbid Lois from performing again. She loves the attention, however, and defies his demands.

Lois' performances bring more and more men to the "Pube". When Peter's house arrest ends, he wants to return to the Drunken Clam, but his buddies just want to watch his wife. The woman Peter punched confronts him; she and a group of other wives are upset because they believe Lois is ruining their marriages. Peter invites them to come to the bar that night and drag their spouses home.

During that night's performance, Lois mistakes Stewie's time-device blueprint for a childish drawing and shows it to the crowd. Several people recognize it as plans for a time travel device and murmur that they will build their own. Stewie storms off in anger as the group of wives show up. When they vent their frustrations to Lois, she explains her reasons for performing, and the women commiserate with her. Quagmire accidentally starts a fire, and everyone evacuates the basement except for Peter and Lois, engaged in a conversation. When they find themselves trapped in the burning bar, Peter promises to express his love and help her with housework regularly if they survive. At that moment, Stewie activates his completed time device, hoping to prevent himself from ever drawing the troublesome blueprint for the machine. Time flows in reverse; when it finally resumes, Lois is asking Peter to drive Chris to the soccer game. After tripping over (and breaking) Stewie's time machine, Peter fakes an injury to avoid the chore, which changes events so that he will never build the bar. Stewie's teeth finally begin to emerge, proving to be as devious and scheming as Stewie himself.